Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
