Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
