I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
