I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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