I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
