the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
