Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
