This girl is more easily done than said...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
