When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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