So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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