hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
