Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
