Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
