explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
