VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
