don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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