I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
