i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
