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Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
