I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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