I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
