i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
