pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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