Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
