turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
