Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
