Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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