it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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