WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
