Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
