Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
