FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
