I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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