I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
