U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
