when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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