oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
