i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
