OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
