If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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