he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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