I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
wow bdsm is so cute
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
