he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you will always have a special place in my vag
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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