where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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