Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
