$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So squirting runs in the family.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
