Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
