the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
