definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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