I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
