so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
