Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I had to cum in my sink.
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