Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
