I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
