I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
